What I want for Christmas
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
This may sound too early, but im writing my wish list anyway...
1. extra HD (500gig,, pls oh pls...)
2. DVD writer
3. another lens for my cam (17-85mm IS lens would do)
4. round trip ticket to hongkong plus lotsa pocket money to see mickey mouse in Disney land!
Itong apat na to ang pinapangarap ko as of now. Haay.. bakit ba hindi na ko nakuntento sa kung anong meron ako.. actually, I am. Happy ako on whatever I have right now. Kaya nga wish list e.. wish lang.. pero santa might be surfing around.. and who knows. One of my wishes might be granted. ;)
10 years
Saturday, October 22, 2005
There's something stuck in my throat. Something sweet, it's like some choco crumb stuck in it. I guess I've taken too much sweets for this night. Had 5 or more choconuts and medium sized mocha frap earlier. If this is still stuck in my throat for another 3 hours or more, my tonsils might swell. To my body, tonsillitis = fever. So now, I'm gulping down tons of water. Bawal magkasakit!
===
RM and I are chatting over YM. We're talking about dogs, she says she wants to buy a dog, either a pug or a shitzu. I told her, I'd like to have a chow chow. And there goes - bili na daw kami ng doggy once she returns from US. Actually, matagal ko nang gustong bumili ng doggy, but the thing is, everyone in our house opposes, except for my youngest sister. Who would take care of the doggy when I'm at work? Maybe if I had a house of my own already, I'll be able to get the doggy I want.
===
The mocha frap is still kicking. 2:35 am on the clock as I write, and I'm still up and awake. Ni hindi pa ko naghihikab from the time I came in. to think, I've been up since 8AM, so I've been awake for 18 and a half hours. Wil be outta here by 9AM.. sa that's another 6 and a half hours to go.
===
Speaking of kicking.. one song just hit me (the radio's on while I work).. the lyrics goes .. Where you gonna be in ten years time? Will you be happy with the way you've been living your life?... yeah.. hit me right smack in the middle! 10 years from now? O well.. I'd be 35 by then, might be married, might have 3 kids or more, might have a dog of my own, might have learned how to cook real (edible) meals, might be bringing my kids to school, tutor them at night, prepare their breakfast and lunch boxes at mornings, I might still be working, a working mom perhaps? At this point, everything's still hazy.
Eniwey, here's the whole song (Artist: Gabrielle)
Do you have a vision?
Do you have a goal?
I'm watching you shrugging your shoulders,
Telling me you just don't know.
Do you get emotional?
Is there something you're passionate about?
I can tell that
you're still searching,
Still trying to work it all out.It takes time
Take your time
Mm mm
You will know
When it feels right
(Chorus)
Where you gonna be in ten years time?Will you be happy with the way you've been living your life?Will you be alright?
And when you're looking back to now
All the years gone by
Will there be something that you say
That you should have done right
In your life
What would you fight for?
For what do you stand?
How will you go about it?
And
do you have a masterplan?What are your demons?
How much for your soul?
Have you found religion?
And gone down that road?
Guess we all need
Something to believe
oh oh oh
Times haven't changed
Thats how it's gotta be
(Chorus)
Where you gonna be in ten years time?
Will you be happy with the way you've been living your life?
Will you be alright?
Yeah
And when you're looking back to now
All the years gone by
Will there be something that you say
That you should have done right
We're talking about your life
Are you a dreamer?
Tell me all your dreams
Can you say honestlyWhat you want to beWhat would you do,
When your back's against the wall?
Would you stand on your two feet?
Would you admit defeat?
These are the times
You need to be strong
Don't you know,
Don't you know that is hard
Have you learned to find a way?You gotta find a way to carry on
(Chorus)
Where you gonna be in ten years time?
Will you be happy with the way you've been living your life?
Will you be alright?
Yeah
And when you're looking back to now
All the years gone by
Will there be something that you say
That you should have done right
We're talking about your life
Your life
(Chorus)
Where you gonna be in ten years time?
Will you be happy with the way you've been living your life?
Will you be alright?
Yeah
And when you're looking back to now
All the years gone by
Will there be something that you say
That you should have done right
We're talking about your life
Your life
Where you gonna be in ten years time?
Will you be alright?
Tell me will you get it right? get it right?
Where you gonna be in ten years time?
Will you be happy with the way that you're living your life?
Do you feel it being right? It will be alright.
Where you gonna be in ten years time?
Will you be alright?
Tell me will you get it right? get it right?
Where you gonna be in ten years time?
at the cemetery
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
All Saints Day is drawing near, soon enough, all roads will lead to the cemeteries. In preparation, Nanay and I already paid a visit to Lola's parents at the North Cemetery. Here are some snapshots.
on risks and being lucky
I've been staring at the monitor, my fingers stuck. I was supposed to write in the first line that nothing good is happening with me nowadays. Pressures from my job have been bothering me lately. With so many (bloody, back-breaking, grueling) trainings ahead, certifications to meet, extra tasks, not the mention the erratic schedule - yeah, years have past and I'm still complaining on this. Payday is the only thing that keeps my attendance on the records. At times, I feel like giving up. I'm not happy with my job anymore. Besides, this is not what I wanted in the first place. But then, another thought comes in - what is it that I really want. Then the thought of staying comes in. I always tell myself; at least I have a job. But for how long do I need to convince myself? How about TAKING RISKS? Yeah - RISKS, and the word itself is synonymous with danger, jeopardy, threat. How scary could that get?
Yeah, nothing good is happening. But then, this job is NOT my life. Nothing good is happening in my workplace, I'm scared, fearful that I might lose it someday. But what the heck. It's not taking away my happiness, you hear that? Mr. you know who? Despite the unpleasant (nauseating) feeling I have whenever I think of work, I could still find bliss. I still find time to adore butterflies, flowers, babies, chubby kids. I'm still (and always will be) at awe to see sunsets and sunrises. I can still laugh my heart out over some corny jokes and cry over mushy movies. I still enjoy eating chocolates, savoring every bits and pieces.
Call this a quarter-life or whatever crisis - I'm not giving in. Life still has a lot to offer. And risks, that's one thing I'll learn to embrace, one day at a time.
===
On a related topic. A friend from work told me that I'm lucky, I could walk out from my job whenever I wanted to. Not like her, being the breadwinner of the family, left with no other choice but to stay. Then, I thought, why should I feel lucky? It's a common line - at least ikaw ganito, di kagaya ng iba ganun.. Should comparing myself or my situation with the "not-so-lucky" ones be enough consolation? I'm not so sure about that.
sorry
Sunday, October 09, 2005
When I least expected it, I got an apology. Then all else went off, it was like I had a brand new friend.Sometimes, a simple sorry is all it takes.
