Dear Tatay

Tatay, I miss you, I terribly miss you.

Why did you have to leave us so soon? I miss you everyday. I can’t even look at your old stuff without my heart flinching. I would always browse through your photos at night when everyone here is already asleep, so I can cry for as long as I like.

I would always tell people that I have accepted everything that has happened for I believe that this is part of God’s plan. I know I should be happy, because you will already be with the Lord. But your absence, and the fact that you will never be with us anymore hurts me. No daughter should lose a father when she hasn’t got married yet. Sino na maghahatid sa akin sa altar? No daughter should lose a father when she still hasn’t figured out what she wants to do with her life. I am still stuck at the crossroad, still undecided on which path to take. Who do I ask for advice now? No daughter should lose her father when she still hasn’t learned how to go to the palengke and pick the best fruits and veggies. You tried to teach me once, but I was inattentive. Nanay has only been to the palengke during the preparation for your ‘pa-syam’. After that, we have to rely on the vendors who sell through ‘padyak’ inside Pacita.

Tatay, I find it painful whenever I go home at night. I would still imagine you sitting at the porch waiting for me. You would always open the door for me and right away ask, softly scolding me "saan ka ba galling, gabi na!". I still look for you whenever I get a glimpse of our backyard – your favorite tambayan in the house, where your manoks are located. Waking up in the morning, I would absentmindedly seek for ripe mangoes in the kitchen, then I would have to remind myself na wala ka na pala.

People often say that you’ll never know what you have until you lose them and to always tell your loved ones how much you love them while they’re still with you. Tatay, way way back, alam namin na mahalaga ka sa amin. Do you still remember that I would often kiss you on the cheeks, and tell you that I love you? Kaya lang you would always reply “Anak, nambobola ka naman. Ano’ng kailangan mo this time?” But I know in my heart that you felt my love for you in that simple gesture.

We will move on, I know that day will come, but not this soon.

I love you, Tatay!

Each Day I Choose

Saw this very nice piece from my friend's note in facebook.

This is my first blog post for 2010, starting the year on a positive note!

Cheers!


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Each Day I Choose - By Max Lucado

It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.

In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.

I CHOOSE LOVE…

No occasion justifies hatred;
no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY…

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical…
the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see
people as anything less than human beings,
created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as
anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE…

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE…

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll
invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the
wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment
to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new
assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS…

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to
the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS…

I will go without a dollar
before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked
before I will boast. I will confess before I will
accuse. I choose goodness.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS…

Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates
will not question my word. My wife will not
question my love. And my children will never fear
that their father will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS…

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I am a spiritual being…
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal.
I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow
and rest.

Max Lucado quote is from his book When God Whispers Your Name. Used by permission of the W Publishing Group, a division of Thomas Nelson, Inc. All rights reserved.

the oreo aftermath

tita jaene! look at me! lola (when i say lola, i mean lola taling, your mother doesn't want to be called lola, i call her nanay malou) gave me oreos for desert. and just look what i did, gobbled them up all like pacman! my first birthday is draw...ing near, when are you sending your gift? see u soon! labyooo! mwah!

How we've survived Ondoy

The sister woke me up, shrieking "ate, gising!!! pray daw kayo nina Nanay, umaakyat ang baha!"

Pray kami ni Nanay, kami, that's because the sister fumes up whenever she engages in religious rites. Bwahaha! Peace, Louraine!

I got up, took a quick bath, got dressed and joined Nanay whose praying in our terrace. The water is already crawling up to our garage little by little. Lord, please, let the rain stop, and don't let the water come in to our home. Mahirap pong mag-linis ng bahay, we don't have any helper around, so all the hard labor will be tossed at me. Spare my pretty hands from getting dipped in those murky waters. I'd rather wash 1,000 plates than clean the floor contaminated with tubig baha. Please Lord, I beg you!

Minutes after intensely praying, the water slowly subsided, it was at around past 1pm. Lord, thank you so much!

It is written that prayer can move mountains. Now I've seen that prayers can move waters, too!

The rest of the afternoon flowed smoothly. Well, at least inside our home. But reading and hearing from the news about the families who were stranded, helplessly seeking for help above their roofs, the motorists stuck for hours in the traffic is just so devastating.

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing with our favorite toy, Gaean! Getting manicure and pedicure (for the mother and the sister), while I explore the wonderful world of tweeting with my dear adiks.

Come 6pm, Vangie, my sister in law, learned from their landlady that their house has been submerged by rain water. Nanay, Vangie and I went to their house in San Pedro to check the place.

Nanay parked the car outside, and said she'll just wait there (sabi na nga ba e, all the hard labor tossed at me, and at Vangie as well). I was wearing my plueys when I went to their house. Along the way, I felt water getting in. Homaygod! Ang bowts ko, butas! Goodness. Ang tubig baha, getting inside me! I panicked. I wanted to shout, pero what for? I took the boots off (while in the middle of the flood) and changed into slippers. Homaygooood! My feet submerged in flood water!!! I cringed, I can't breath, I thought I was going to faint (exxag, but true, nahirapan talaga ako huminga!). Imagine all the germs, bacteria, animal wastes, human wastes and other contaminants. Lord, why me? sniff sniff... But then, I thought, I could offer this suffering, di ba? Lord, enough na yata itong pambayad sa mga kasalanang nagawa ko. And also, I'm doing this out of luv! If I didn't love my niece that much, I wouldn't do this! True enough, love gives us courage. Mga bagay na akala ko hindi ko kayang gawin, nakaya ko! One thing I learned tonight, the hard way.

When we got at my brother's house, I am still thankful that the water was only an inch deep. But we still have to secure the appliances (electric fans and washing machine), we don't know if rains will still prevail during the rest of the night since they'll be with us until Sunday.

I immediately scrubbed my legs and feet when we got home. Washed them 3 times! Relief!

Tonight, I pray for the families who are still waiting to be rescued above their roofs, for the little kids shivering in the cold, for the people stranded in traffic.

ouch

:: thanks to greysi for the tip ::

Lightning could strike!

I want you to get swept away. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish.

Be deliriously happy.

Or at least leave yourself open to be.

I know it’s a cornball thing but love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with?

I say fall head over heels.

Find someone you can love like crazy and who’ll love you the same way back.

And how do you find him?

Forget your head and listen to your heart… Run the risk, if you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love — well, you haven’t lived a life at all.

You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived…

Stay open. Who knows? Lightning could strike.



-meet joe black-

I got robbed!

Being a perennial ‘tambay’ in Facebook, I take quizzes left and right. Lahat pinatulan, even the crappy ones like what age will I die, how many kids will I have, what the first name of the love of my life, etcetera... as if anyone could tell my future based from a 10 question quiz.

When I saw the TAGA PACITA COMPLEX KA BA???? quiz from another contact about a week ago, I felt thrilled. This is something I MUST take! Been living in Pacita for more than a quarter of a century, I am certain that I would pass this quiz 100%.

I logged in to the quiz and answered the questions effortlessly. As expected, I got a perfect score!



However, when I looked at the thumbnail photo, a shot of our parish church, I felt something odd. I was not certain at that moment, but I have a feeling that the photo was mine, or at least looks like a photo that I took sometime in the past.

When the sister came home that night, I exclaimed, pointing at the thumbnail photo on the computer screen “tignan mo, picture ko ‘to!”

The sister sarcastically retorted “baket, ikaw lang ba ang may camera sa Pacita?”

Oo nga naman, how conceited of me to think na ako lang ang may camera sa buong Pacita who would take a photo of the Sto. Rosario Parish.

I let the issue pass, leaving behind my presumptions.

Last night, I was randomly browsing photos in my Multiply account when out of the blue, the photo! Oh yes! The photo!

Eureka!

I almost fell on my seat!

Sabi ko na nga ba! Akin nga yun!

Below is the enlarged photo from the thumbnail used in the quiz



Below is MY shot



Merely looking at the angle of the church proves that it’s mine! Mine! Mine! Add the cloud formations above the church and the position of the lights with the same hue and contrast. It’s mine!!! Mine! Mine!

I took the photo on September 8, 2005, it was Mama Mary’s birthday. A Marian devotee, Lola went to the church to participate in the activities and to hear mass later in the evening. I tagged along and brought my rebel to take snap shots.

The whole set of photos are posted at this link:

http://riccicutie.multiply.com/photos/album/123/Mama_Marys_Birthday_September_8_2005

Then I remembered, I posted the photo in my Flickr account. The THEIF must have stolen it from there. (Flickr used to be my photo tambakan 2 years back since I purchased a Pro account. When the Pro account expired, I transferred all of my precious photos in Multiply, thus making Multiply my official photo tambakan from then on).

Here’s the link of the photo from my Flickr account

http://www.flickr.com/photos/riccicutie/1296303682/

Kaya naman pala, I tagged the photo with several keywords, aside from making it public.

I don’t have any problems with anyone grabbing my photo. I actually upload photos in Multiply in high resolution good for 4r prints so family and friends could just grab photos from there (saving me time from searching from gazillions of photos in my external hd) .

Hindi naman ako madamot, my photo bin is like a carinderia na bukas sa lahat ng gustong kumain! But grabbing my photo without my permission and using for something else… I feel cheated on. Nakaka-inis… anyway, why would I complain? I made the photo public, didn’t I. But then, the author of the quiz could have just sent me a note that he/she’s use my photo.

ooohh lala! twisters!

sa wakas!

::: thanks to lola for holding the twisters while i take pic :::

twister gone twisted

the picture above is what nanay knows as... twister fries!

over yahoo messenger at about 6pm

ricci: nay, bili mo ko twister fries
nanay: okay

after 30 mnutes

ricci: nanay! don't forget my twister fries, okee?
nanay: oo, kulit!

after 3 hours

ricci opens the garage gate for nanay.

ricci: nay, san na twisters ko?
nanay: nasa likod, kunin mo na

ricci rummages through the pile of groceries...

nanay pointed - ayan, shoestrings!

whuaaat? hindi ito yun!!!

bukas na bukas din, i'm gonna make sugod to mcdo...

buhay prinsesa

lola insisted on tatay, ibili mo naman ng alimasag (or alimango? i still don't know the difference between the two) si ricci, para naman ganahan sya kumain.

because according to lola and apparently to some friends, i am noticeably losing weight.

im beeeck!

back to blogging. been tamad for a long time. this is what happens when you can't sleep in the middle of the night. catch your thoughts, write it down...

1. my uncle slash ninong (and is also called ninong by the other siblings) with tita nidz, his wife, and their daughter shane, our cousin is arriving tonight from bacolod. they'll be staying with us for a few days, then come friday, ninong goes back to his work in saudi, while shane and tita nidz back to their bacolod home. it's been like 10 years since we last saw tita nidz and shane. shane is going to sleep in my room, in the bed where jaene used to sleep. last week, lola had already cleaned up and tidied my jungle room to make space since the spare bed (we have bunk beds) was converted into another 'tambakan'.

2. i haven't posted any pictures yet since may 9 in multiply (my official photo bin after my flicker account has expired) due to lack of hd space. my drive d only has less than 2 gig of free space. i've been putting off buying a new hd since i've been busy (yes! you read it right, BUSY) the past few weeks with church related activities, domestic chores - particulary making labada, escorting lola to her doctors (bone doctor and kidney doctor, dentist), social activities - pdl and coffee sessions with the adiks, kita kits sessions with former officemates. hopefully by next week i'd be able to find time.

3. life changing event, finishing the purpose driven life book. i am very much grateful to kendi for initiating this session with the adiks. discussing my experience with the book will have to be on another post, since it's already past 1am, and i'm already feeling sleepy.

April's fool

this is what you get on april fool's day!