the EX

i was chatting with a friend earlier. she told me the the EX was pursuing her again. after all that had happened - betrayal, cheating, two-timing and all- she's still willing to take the EX back.

she asked me "okay lang ba?"
i bluntly replied "kung san ka masaya, kung masaya ka nang ginagago ka, go for it"
she said "aray ko, ang sakit naman nun"

i know how hard it is to be in that situation, i've had my share. the feeling of being shattered, crushed.. that it seems my chest would explode anytime sooner. it was hard to breathe, as if a needle was poked in my lungs. had a hard to sleeping because the moment i lie in bed, tears will fall down continuously. there are even moments that tears will fall involuntarily. i had no control over it, as if my eyes had a mind of its own. i tortured myself with these thoughts - "what was wrong with me?.. where have i gone wrong?... "

it took a long time before i found acceptance in my heart. that after all, it wasn't about me.

enough of my bitterness. going back to my friend whom had an EX whose she's willing to take back, she concluded after our long chat the she's still very much in love with the EX and she going to take him back.

~*~*~*~

last nyt, i went home late. i've had a good discussion with an ofcmate, more like a heart to heart session. i just learned that she has also been in the same situation with my friend whom had an EX whose she's willing to take back. i asked her how was she able to manage. she was devastated, of course. however, despite all, she found forgiveness in her heart. she told me that the guy's sincerity in his repentance and his courage to tell her everything with all honesty was enough for her.

that's one thing i've learned from last nyt. that i should be able to have space for forgiveness in my heart... to learn how to trust all over again.

someday, i know i'll come at that point. someday..