second chances
the media player is currently playing this - "The First Cut Is The Deepest" by Sheryl Crow.
I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I had
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's worst
I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's worst
I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest
When it come to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's worst
The first cut is the deepest baby i know
The first cut is the deepest try to love again...
this song reminded me of jane's testimonial (for me) in friendster. her message was simple but it did strike me hard on the part where she told me that everyone deserves a second chance and that she admires me for sticking with my "decision".
i tried to get even with her and wrote her a testi that goes:
jane's testi for me really hit me. hit me so hard that my stomach felt twisted. naah. i was exaggerating, sowee. actually, i felt guilty at the same time, since i always have this habit of calling her "gaga" for the same reason written in her testi. we've actually shared a lot-breakfasts at mcdo(scrambled eggs plz), lunch, dinner, strolls at the tiangges in citywalk, never ending gossips at work(sino nga ba si miss h?). not to mention, we've also shared the same aches, miseries, hurts and pains. i'm glad we're both out of those. in luv, no one can really dictate on what to do and whom to have. the important thing is that u're happy with whatever u do and whoever u're with. I hate to see ourselves 10 or 20 years from now, looking back and having the biggest regret in our lives. at least we've followed where our hearts wanted us to be. i haven't closed the door yet, i'm still open with every posibility. yes, i know that everyone deserves a second chance. thanks for the reminder!
wow! was that me giving unsolicited advice, telling her to follow her heart?? i'm no love expert, but what i do understand about love is that - love does not really mix with logic. u see and odd couple, pretty faced girl tied around with a not so good-looking guy. u ask urself, "ano kaya ang nakita nitong babaeng ito sa lalakeng ito?" money, perhaps that would come first to mind. but personally, i know a few "odd" couples like that, and they do really stick with each other in the name of luv.
in luv, u drop every reasoning ability u have and just rely everything with what u feel. it's okay with you if he smokes, as long as brushes every so often. you dont mind if he drinks, as long as he doesn't overdo it. you dont mind if he spends too much time with his barkada, as long as he brings you to dinner with a dozen of roses in his hands. u argue with just about anything, but in the end of the day u make up and end up huddled in each others arms. he likes action movies, u like mushy lovey duvey movies - so u both go to one movie first, then the other movie on the next week.
so, being aware these, why am i still hesitant to take another plunge? maybe because im afraid of giving too much that none might be left for myself. maybe i'm afraid to take risks again that it would not end up good, that i will go through the same pains and aches again. i know someday i'd be over with these doubts and fears. but for now, im taking my sweet time exploring myself again, warming up the whole of me for the next great venture.
wish me luck!
